Thursday, March 4, 2010

a simple how are you will do

I am one of those who do not like going to funerals or visiting sick people, especially those who are terminally ill. I do not know what to say or what to do. I also have the feeling, sometimes, that those left behind do not really know me. At other times,I do not feel significant enough to matter especially if the one whose wake it is is popular (justification?.... hmmmmm...).

I do not know what to say or what to do. What do you say to somebody whom you know is going to die? Get well soon? Or to those left behind by a beloved? ( I think going to a wake is easier...).

But a simple "how are you?" is enough, I have discovered. Things change when viewed from the perspective of the recipient. It may not be enough to you but it is already a lot. To ask how somebody is doing is enough, to listen to his answer means even more.

To ask "what can I do to help?" may also mean very much. Even if you cannot do a lot, just the thought that somebody is willing to do something really lifts one up.

Or just your mere presence is enough. Being in the same room expresses sympathy and kinship and somehow conveys the idea that one is not going at it alone.

Or just a touch is enough to reassure a person that he is not alone in this world, that he has people who are with him as he goes through his pain, through his journey.

Yes...don't forget..... just a simple "how are you?" will do.

1 comment:

  1. yeah. :) i agree with this so much. :) - mari

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